


Sugar and Spies and All Things Nice

by misura



Category: Spies In Disguise (2019)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28258353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: Just because they were Team Weird now (it said so on their matching office mugs and everything) that didn't mean things had gotten actually weird between them. (spoiler: it totally does)
Relationships: Walter Beckett/Lance Sterling
Comments: 4
Kudos: 66
Collections: Yuletide Madness 2020





	Sugar and Spies and All Things Nice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sparcina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sparcina/gifts).



> for (spoilery) clarification on the referenced dubcon, please skip to end note

Lance Sterling was beginning to wonder if he was a perv as well as the best spy ever.

It had started out pretty harmless, he thought: he'd walked in on Walter changing his shirt. No biggie.

Walter had said, "Hey, Lance, I'm trying to decide which of these shirts to wear," and Lance had said, "They both look great, man, just wear whatever, it's all good," and that had been that. He hadn't _lingered_ or anything. There sure hadn't been any _ogling_.

Lance abso-positively hadn't said something like, "So hey, you want to work out sometime? You know, together. As a team." He'd _wanted_ to, he'd been _seriously tempted to_ , but then he'd imagined Walter all red-faced and sweaty and breathing hard and, like, ~~yes, please, come to daddy~~ _no thank you_?

So that had been a thing, except totally not a thing, because there was no thing. Nope. Nada. Nothing.

Just because they were Team Weird now (it said so on their matching office mugs and everything) that didn't mean things had gotten actually weird between them.

"So um, is this a bad time to talk about something?" Walter asked.

_Walter_ , Lance would like to state for the record, had gotten them stuck in some itty-bitty closet together in some secret base thing whatever. Bad guys everywhere, mad scientist cackling over the intercom: the usual.

Lance ate missions like these for breakfast, except not really. He'd actually had waffles, on account of Walter really liking them. They'd been heart-shaped and Walter had declared them to be delicious, and Lance had nodded that sure, he thought so too, whatever you say, kid.

(He'd actually been looking at some powdered sugar that had gotten on Walter's face and imagined licking it off, which was totally a 100% normal-weird thing to think. Friends licked each other's faces all the time, unless they were pigeons, in which case they _had_ no lips.)

"Can this wait?" Lance asked, looking up from where he was working on the lock.

"Uh," Walter said.

Lance sighed. "Does it involve us getting out of here faster?"

Walter handed over a new-looking spy-pen. On account of it being a very small closet, there was some touching. Not, like, hand-to-butt touching, but, well, if Lance had wanted to _which he didn't_ , they could've probably made it to second base, maybe third or fourth or fifth.

"I haven't field-tested it yet," Walter said.

"Guess we can take care of that right here, right now, huh? Yay, science!" Lance said, and the thing was: he almost meant it. Little bit. It was the way Walter's face lit up, the way Walter would throw around words of which Lance had _no idea_ what they meant, and then get all huffy and mopey and disappointed when Lance asked him to dumb it down a little.

(He'd said it exactly like that only the once, because _Lance Sterling_ wasn't some dummy, all right? But he'd wanted to give Walter's confidence a little boost, maybe get him to open up a bit and say something like how Lance's pecs were totally amazing and Walter wanted to sit in his lap again and touch them while giggling like he'd never done anything like that before, which Lance was sure Walter hadn't, because Walter was a good kid, and God, _what was he even thinking?_ )

"Don't use that setting!" Walter cried, making a grab for the spy-pen, and Lance would've given it to him, really he would've (would he _ever_ like to give it to him) but years and years of flying solo had left him with _instincts_ , and one of those was definitely _not_ to let anyone else grab whatever he was holding, _ever_.

Three things happened more or less simultaneously: (1) Lance said, "Oops," (2) Walter said, "No-o-o," in super-slow motion, and (3) the spy-pen spritzed both of them.

It smelled like cookies, so Lance figured they were probably both about to die or something, in which case he _should definitely not_ suggest they have sex, on account of there not any chance to do that later, so.

"Oh, this is bad," Walter said. "This is really bad. This is so bad. I can't believe how bad this is."

Lance said, "Uh."

And then Walter kissed him.

One hour later, give or take a couple of minutes, Lance decided that the world was _great_ , and he was personally also great, and Walter was the best, and they were so going to try a lot of the things they'd just done again, only with, like, a bed and better lighting and maybe some tasteful lingerie or something. Or science. Lance was feeling real good about science right now. Science was awesome.

He picked up Walter's new spy-pen prototype again. "So uh." _So did you put sex pollen in this thing? because damn, man, that's some hardcore science-ing right there, and, I mean, I'm totally cool with that, but, y'know, next time, you can just ask. nicely. naked. sitting in my lap. sorry, what were we talking about again?._

"This is so totally embarrassing," Walter said. "Have you seen my pants?"

"Right here." Lance handed them over. Pants were great, too, he decided. "So uh, we should talk, maybe? Or not. I mean, not talking's cool, too. Whatever, man, it's all good."

"I ... " Walter said.

(Lance remembered them sitting on the couch together, watching _Hearts in Seoul_ and damn if their hands hadn't touched when they'd both reached for the popcorn - the _popcorn!_ not the tissues, _I'm not crying, you're crying_ and who started crying just because they were in love, that was stupid and totally not cool and so totally not a thing Lance did.)

"I ... " Walter said.

"You sex pollened me," Lance said. "Us," he amended quickly, because fair was fair. "By accident," and so was that. Walter hadn't meant to, and Lance hadn't meant to, so they were all cool and also totally going to have sex again. Hopefully.

Walter squeaked. "I - what? No, I didn't. Why would I - that's crazy!"

Lance considered his options. They didn't seem to be as great as they had been ten seconds ago. "You didn't? All right, my bad. Sorry. Bit of a misunderstanding there. But hey, no biggie. Happens all the time. _If we weren't sex-pollened, what the hell happened just now?_ "

"I uh, I was worried I was going to tell you I was in love with you, so I kissed you?" Walter said. "As, you know, a distraction?"

"A _distraction_?" Lance had no words. Well, turned out he had two, but apart from that. No. Words. "You worried about telling me you liked me so you kissed me. Are you even listening to yourself right now."

"We-ell, it kind of worked?" Walter said. "You sure _sounded_ pretty distracted."

"Did not," Lance said, overcome by a sudden fear that there was a sound recording of the whole thing.

"Oh, and it's _love_ , not like," Walter said. "I love you, Lance."

"Great," Lance said, deciding to focus on the lock again.

"You uh, you're kind of supposed to say it back?" Walter said. "Because, you know, it doesn't really count when you're truth serumed. Which you were. Well, we."

Lance decided the lock would have to wait. "Let me get this straight. You accidentally truth serumed us. You not-accidentally kissed me. We had sex for the very first time in a closet smaller than your old office. Is that about it?"

Walter blushed. "I guess. I ... I liked it. You're really good at the sex thing."

"Never utter those words again," Lance said. "I mean it. Seriously, man."

Walter frowned. "You really thought I'd sex pollened you?"

"It was a _theory_ ," Lance said. "You know, one of those science things. A _hypothesis_."

Walter smirked. "You thought I'd sex pollened you."

"Can we maybe go back to the whole saving the world thing now? 'cause, you know, world's not going to save itself, and we just wasted, like, an hour."

"People celebrating their love can never be a waste of time," Walter said. His expression suggested he was more than willing to make an argument of this, possibly ending in make-up, _"I'm sorry," / "No, I'm sorry," / "Yeah, you're real sorry, huh, go on, show me how sorry you are, oh yeah,"_ sex, which would be ... bad. Maybe. Probably. Definitely.

"So uh, hey. Have you seen my pants anywhere?"

**Author's Note:**

> Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent: character thinks they've been sex pollened but this is not in fact the case + character kisses other character without previous indication of consent


End file.
